April 29, 2005
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Topic: no more ideas
I walked around my block today. It’s a 15min. walk, I did the walk 3 times before I realized I had walked it 3 times.
After finally realizing…ok, i’m lost, it’s ok to be lost, I switched into practical mode. I need a plan. I need to put something into action. I need to berry (sp?) this Dan…we need confidant Dan again, that’s step 1 at least.
So…I walked and walked and walked, and a plan came to my mind. I wouldn’t let myself go into my house until I had sold the plan to myself, as a managable plan. A plan I could get excited about, that would be practical, adventurous, leave doors open, create new doors, etc. etc.
So…this summer, I will be returning to my summer camp (not 100% official w/ camp yet, need to call back on wed., but let’s say 95%). And…then i check my e-mail and get one from a friend from England (i e-mailed her in Dec., she just got back, jeez), but she’s going back, and was upset i wasn’t, and now i’m getting excited about kind of showing up and surprising a lot of people.
So…I’m thinking i’ll do that, then I might be working for NYC Outward Bound in the fall. The way i see it…i have things lined up till thanksgiving, my summer will be all about fun, get rejuvinated about kids and play, make a few bucks, meet some int’l people, then spend the fall in nyc, try to build some connections w/ writing, travel (i’m not even sure…maybe just make connections w/ interesting people in nyc). Then, come Dec., when the winter hits, I’ll have had 6mos. to plan a proper trip to Australia, plus, i’ll have all summer to mees Aussies for advice.
I feel less like i’m floating now…temporarily at least. I had a great talk w/ a friend last night, putting things in perspective in a way appropriate for me. When friends give advice, they’re practical but also concerned about you as a person. Family advice tends to err on the side of practical, if only because they don’t know all the sides of you that your friends see.
Anyways…I need to go do some laundry, staying w/ a friend in NYC for the weekend, see if I’m not turning the corner for real, and getting back to my ol’ jolly self.
peace,
-dan
Comments (3)
hi just a random vistor here…sounds like you’re at a definite crossroads in your life. i think at our age (early-mid twenties) we all are. more paths in life are open to us more now than ever before and it’s hard sometimes to know which to take. and scary to think about potentially taking the wrong one. i know it’s been a tough to do for me. anyway i hope things work out for you, sounds like you’ve got lots of exciting plans lined up.
NYC? That sounds like a lot of fun. Good to hear that your life is coming back together.
~Bethany
1 step at a time…