December 21, 2006

• Topic: Good evening, today is Thursday, December 21st, 2006
  On writing, growing into dating, and teaching

  Please take your seats, and get ready for this journal entry.  I need to write, like an addict needs his next cigarette.  There’s so much in me, and writing is my best medicine for putting things in order.  Writing is important to me, and after a well-earned vacation from kids, I plan on going full-force to make writing as important to them as it is me.  I want them to see how therapeutic it is, and how much growth it allows for.  All the emotions and ideas inside all of us, can present themselves in ways the writer never imagined.  It allows for a voice and line of thinking to reveal itself in unimaginable ways.

  For my students who are constantly acting out, I want to challenge myself to key them into writing for that purpose.  To address their anger and pain, whether it’s towards school, or their home lives.  And now I know to do this, I’ll have to plan and work harder than I ever imagined.  This means truly getting to know each of my students, spending every moment possible getting to know them, their interests, their strengths, and their gaps.  It means accounting for a group of kids that contains a girl who stutters, a boy who is mute in class, a girl with a sailor’s mouth, a boy who walks out of class and slams doors, and a boy who reads the New York Times daily.  Ultimately, this means creating a community where we’re all in something together, where I’m modeling how to be the type of student I want my students to be.  Asking questions and tracking down their answers.  Writing, writing, writing.  And reading, reading, reading.  Not a single second can I be bored.  I need to explore museums, talk to new people, listen to different music.  And as I experience these things, bring them into my classroom.

  I want to write long, and deep, and frequently.  I want to collect a binder of the stories I write.

  And I want to fill all this with balance, and friends, and beer, and soccer watching.  My brain is often working to figure out, “how to think,” “how to listen,” and “how to remember.”  As I meet people now, I often pretend that by my side is someone close to me, so I might look at a person, or an experience, through eyes other than my own.  What would my friends from college think of my experiences in a classroom.  What would my parents think?

  And I’m dating now and clearly that means I’ve grown up, and have shed some of my childhood self.  I’m experiencing all the ridiculousness that dating is meant to be, the first dates, the heartbreak, the figuring out what the hell it is I’m truly looking for.  And that’s fun and educational and I love it.

  But teaching has really been on my mind.  Such a bizarre profession.  In grad school tonight we spent over 2 hours listening to presentations on stuttering, OCD, mental retardation, and oppositional definat disorder.  What I really need is 2 years of studying history, literature, and writing, (which of course I should have gotten by now, but there’s more than a few teachers who need to sharpen up on content).  But, it amazes me the extent of knowledge that a teacher needs to truly help students.  And that’s exciting too.

  • 9:02 pm
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