December 3, 2006
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Topic: a eulogy for my grandfather
I’m not much for summing up people’s lives, but a few things stand out about my grandfather, who passed away suddenly last Thursday. First of all, his wife, my grandmother, passed away 1yr. and 10 days earlier, and my grandfather used to say, “What a mean thing she did,” by leaving him. He truly loved her and his family, and it was clear that our family’s happiness meant more to him than anything. He wasn’t a big traveler or buying of fancy things, and enjoyed his last months in a senior home, where he played poker, went to Atlantic City, and enjoyed a good meal.
He served in WWII and has both a purple heart and a recovered Nazi knife to prove it. He was a traditional Jew, the only one in his plattoon, and would often trade food, spam for something kosher. He was a joke teller, and enjoyed a good drink. This past year, he spent many nights sleeping in my old bedroom, and always told me how comfortable my bed was and how we didn’t want to give it up. At 7am when I’d wake up, or 2am if I came home late, he’d hear me, and without opening his eyes, would ask me a question. How was your night? How do you like work? Always caring and concerned, always interested.
On Thur. I saw him take his last breaths in the hospital, along with my cousins, parents, uncles and aunts. The atmosphere was surreal, as it should be in times like these. A whole life comes down to following the biology of a man, his heart rate, respiratory rate, and vital signs. His lungs ultimately gave out after 2 weeks in the hospital following a broken hip. It’s still a bit uncertain how things deteriorated, but a combination of complications ultimately led to his final moments on this earth.
And all this has helped me come to terms with my own mortality a bit. I can now think about my own death and plan for it. For example, I want a box of Life Cereal to go in my coffin, my ultimate comfort food. I want to be remembered for the impact I’ve had on others, and my efforts to make life better for others. I want to be remembered for my dreams and my writing, although in them I reveal many of my shortcomings and insecurities.
And when I go I want people to know that I’ve gone to a place with infinite hiking and lakes and rivers and beautiful nature. A place where my family will be with me for eternity, just as my grandfather has rejoined his wife. I may not believe in these things literally, but I believe that hope makes life more worth living.
There’s more I’d like to write, but I am keeping some emotions to myself. Hope everyone else is well…
Comments (5)
Sounds like a man of great dignity. Must have been an incredible privilege to share your experiences with him.
This is beautiful. People touch us in so many ways, and give us so much, and immortality does indeed happen, these good people are remembered in ways that make the world a better place…
Y’hei shlamah rabbah meen sh’mahyah,v’chahyeem
aleynu v’al kohl yisrael, v’eemru: Amein
Oseh shalom beem’roh’mahv, hoo ya’aseh shalom,
aleynu v’al kohl yisrael v’eemru: Amein
“hope makes life more worth living.”
That was really touching Dan and I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call.
Pisser about your grandfather. Some parts of life just can’t ever be replaced.
When I die, after doctors harvest every useable organ, I want my husk of a corpse to be catapulted into either an active volcano or a giant spinning propeller. Or perhaps a chipper/shredder. Also I want someone to film it and post it on YouTube. That would rule.
But I’m not sure I want to be remembered. Not that I’m anxious to be forgotten, but I think… well, I guess there are just more important things that I’d rather people use to fill their minds. Also, I plan to outlive everyone I know
i am sorry to hear about your grandpa. i was thinking about you the other day. i hope things are good. talk to u soon i hope
love from morocco