February 14, 2006

• (this post written while extremely tired and bored…apologize for whatever shit i’ve grumbled out here)

  
  

  Topic: Help me solve this riddle…

  
  

  and…

  
  

  Until I find a job where I can just talk to people all day who will listen and tell me what they think…I’m just going to keep on posting, comments or no comments, I’m gonna keep on firing them away, and will hopefully accrue some material that might be useful for something or other in the future.

  
  

  This is from kregg…

  
  

  “Most Americans’ financial woes stem from materialism, not capitalism.  If you are capable of sound financial planning and self-denial concerning consumer goods you can retire a millionaire working ANY job (assuming you start before age thirty).  Most people just aren’t willing to make the needed sacrifices (20% of every paycheck).  Instead they feel they need cell phones and computers and Playstations and Internet connections and decent cars and leather couches and vacations and fine dining and HDTVs and DVD collections…(Again I could triple this list).  Investing in depreciating assets instead of banking or investing loose capital is always a losing venture.  Then again, a life spent denying oneself material goods could be pretty boring.  Somewhere in between, there is a balance.  You will find it.”

  
  

  I would tend to agree 100% w/ this statement.  I just want to tweak it, because I think it should be a message espoused by our political and educational leaders.  This statement can be true, but it requires certain things to take place to make it so.  First, is people need to have adequate health coverage, as a hospital visit for the uninsured is an instant recipe for financial destruction.  Second, is that people need to understand what sound financial planning means.  Since saving for the future now requires investing in the stock market, people need to come to grips with the fact that of all the things you can do with your money, (leave it under your mattress, in a bank account, poker, Super Bowl), the stock market has traditionally been the surest way to save and grow your money.  Now…good luck picking your funds.

  
  

  So…we have the health issue, we have the saving and investing of money issue.  Next is the income and consumption issue.  There was an episode of “30 days,” the show w/ the guy who made the documentary “Supersize Me,” where he worked a couple of min. wage jobs.  You get a taste of how hard his life was.  Which begs the question, is a hard life a bad life? 

  
  

  I don’t think many of the problems in the world, the crises, are real.  What do I mean by this?  Well…since the beginning of man, approximately 10 billion humans have lived and died.  In about 120 years (to be conservative), every living person on the planet will be dead (man…do i know how to be a buzz kill or what!) 

  
  

  I think we typically pay lip service to our own mortality.  We get so caught up on civilization, and the buzz of our everyday lives.  Here’s a thought…what do we think of when we read the news, or pay attention to those who are trying to address the world’s problems.  We see anger, frustration, endless criticism. 

  
  

  There is meaning to life and that meaning is joy…(for me, beer, writing, travel, etc.)  Ugh…sometimes I hate where my logic leads me, what is it I’m trying to say, or prove?  Aaargh…

  
  

  Let me try this…on several occassions, including just now, i’ve attempted to come up w/ a “recipe for the world,” and i think i’ve caught myself this time because it’s not a good approach to life, or to the world.  I think people like myself forget that there’s been 10 billion people before us, there’s 3 billion or so people now, and there will be many billions of people to come. 

  
  

  Even if we think we’re addressing the world, because we’re addressing the headlines and the big issues of the day, in the grand scheme we’re largely drops in the bucket.  What I’m donig a piss poor job of grappling w/ here, is trying to find a reason not to run off into the land of relativism, where nothing in our lives matters. 

  
  

  Certainly, people living today will matter in the world they leave to the future, just as we have those who have come before us to thank / not thank for the world we now livei n.  I think part of the reason to grapple with questions such as the relationship between money and quality of life, is to see where there is unnecessary struggle that our human ingenuity could solve.

  
  

  Perhaps that’s it…it’s in our nature to look for problems worth solving.  Challenges to overcome.  It doesn’t drive everyone, but certainly it’s what drives those who are interested in civilization and society.  It’s in part a giant exercise in mental masturbation to tackle these problems, as well as an altruism towards other human beings, as well as a selfishness in knowing that helping others helps ourselves.

  
  

  I just added in the heading “let me solve this riddle,” i think so much of life is just a riddle, an ever changing question with ever changing answers.  all seems a bit abstract for me, but when i pass by hundreds of people each day at Penn Station, I realize we’re all working out our own riddles.  Pick an obscure part of the map, and there’s people solving their own riddles.

  
  

  ok…time to fuck around

  
  

  -not becoming an alcoholic…but can’t wait to get a wine buzz tonight
  -gonna crawl into bed tonight w/ Charlie Parker
  -winter camping this Sat. night…get to love the comfort of leaving behind comfort
  -parents coming back from vacation…which means the house is gonna start smelling like smoke again.  although i’m saving money living at home, and have been enjoying the experience overall, dealing w/ my dad smoking has been one huge friggin’ downside
  -i wonder if my dad eventually dies of lung cancer, if i’ll grow angry at the tobacco industry. 
  -Maslow’s hierarchy of needs says something like a person can only help others when they feel self-actualized…and i guess once you are, then you’re simply trying to help others reach that point. i think self-actuzlization is a timelss human condition, that is both caused by and distinct from culture.

  
  

  if i’m not feeling self-actualized, my primary concern is taking care of myself.  if i’m feeling hungry, thirsty, lonely, etc. my only drive is to take care of those things.  sometimes i slip off the peak of that triangle, some sort of fatigue sets in from caring about “social ills,” in which case, i quickly become a “social ill.”

  
  

  i can’t deny occassionally feeling lonely and isolated…not so much my ideas, but living.  i found in college i was never lonely.  this weekend, i crashed at my friend’s place, and it was just 4 guys watching the olympics all day and bullshitting.  life was good that day. 

  
  

  i’m strong enough now to recognize my moods, and to know that i allow myself to get down sometimes in order to explore those moods, knowing full well that once i’ve concluded, i will allow myself to be up. 

  
  

  my biggest dream now is to wander.  to wander around in a foreign country.  to wake up each day when my body feels like it, to be surrounded by other wanderers.  to explore new places, new people.  to live meagerly off of my savings.  to think not of the future.  to follow my bliss.  to spend my days reading and writing…taking photos, and shooting videos. interviewing strangers.  food and music.  beaches, mountains.  women and friends.  exhiliration.  wonder, and joy.  oh…just give me these few minutes to dream, and shortly i’ll regain consciousness, and realize that i’m still chained to a desk, listening to a computer hum, and phones ring.

  
  

   

  • 4:24 pm
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