February 16, 2005
-
Topic: exhausted
I may not post for a while…partly because i’m trying to ween myself away from the computer, partly because i feel i don’t have much that i feel like writing about.
I’ve put myself into some kind of a mental trap, and i’m having a hard time doing anything social. Cold weather is part to blame. My psychology is partly to blame. My living environments are partly to blame. All I know is I hope I never forget this period of my life. I know how good life can be, when i’m living in a good community, when i’m traveling, when i’m surrounded by friends, when i’m doing something exciting in the outdoors. I’ve deprived myself of much of that for a couple of months now…it’s been a struggling couple of months. And yet…this has become my comfort zone and i’m a bit hesitant to return to the life that i’ve loved. I’m nervous that Outward Bound Baltimore may not be my savior, I can’t think positively, although I know I’ve had this fear of so many new things, and they always turn out so well. Right now i feel dull, lazy, sleepy, alone..it’s strange to feel so nervous, almost to the point of dread, to return to being alive Dan, funny Dan, active Dan, playful Dan. Negative daydreams never end up being negative, and positive daydreams are a mixed bag. i need a bowl of life cereal and i’m going to bed…
Comments (3)
sounds like S.A.D. try meditating in the sun. if it’s too cold outside, sit in the sunny patch of floor that a big window lets in. “get some exercize and chew some valarian (sp?) root.”
Do not be so sad my friend. In the end, that which we worried most about becomes the most rewarding. Do not be afraid to lead the life you love, even if it doesn’t resemble much of the old one. That is what growing up is all about.
I know how you feel Dan. I’ve totally been where you are. Just relax and let life happen around you for a bit. You’ll find that you ease back into it really smoothly.