February 15, 2005

• Topic: Life repeats itself

  
  

  So…I went to see the movie Sideways today with my mom. (I’m back home for the first time since Thanksgiving).  For starters, I really enjoyed the move.  I don’t give movie critic type summaries, but I enjoy any movie where I start placing myself into the shoes of the characters, and I start thinking this movie was written with me in mind, forgetting that it wasn’t, and there’s 1 million + other people who watched the same film. (i’m about to reveal parts of the movie…for those of you who haven’t yet seen it)

  
  

  Anyways…the main character Miles (Paul Giamatti) is an English teacher trying to get a novel published.  In one scene, someone asks, “is your book fiction or non?” he responds, “it’s fiction, but some of it is based on my life.”  The first guy responds, “There’s so much to learn about the world, I don’t understand why anyone would read anything that someone just made up.”  In another scene, while dealing with the struggle of getting his book published, his publisher responds, “getting a book is all about what can be marketed.  It has nothing to do with how good your book is, and everything to do with what will sell.”  His friend comments, “you should publish it yourself…just get it out there and let the public decide.” 

  
  

  The characters I tend to identify with in movies, also tend to be depressing characters at times (which makes me shy away from identifying with them, such as Cameron from Ferris Beuler’s Day Off).  The two main characters represent the two poles in my life, the “if it’s not fun, why do it?” “you’re only young once,” “life is too short to take seriously,” side, and the, “there’s so much to know, i just want to soak it all up, but i can’t,” side.

  
  

  Anyways…everytime I come home, i go through old photos and journals.  It actually amazes me that I thought with the same passion for understanding and with the same confused mind that I have today.  Old notes from college where I expressed my hatred for traditional education, and wondered what else there was.  Pictures of me when I wasn’t as burdened with my current confusions about my future, although with equal confusions for where I would be where I am currently.

  
  

  There’s another great scene, where Miles says, “I feel like a fingerprint on a window of a tall building…” to express his insignificance in life.  He also has another good metaphor about feeling like a shit stain on a piece of toilet paper in a sewage plant…really found that to be a great line.

  
  

  I started skimming an old book a friend gave me in college about Judaism.  I’ve been an athiest since I was probably 6, but the fact that there mystery of it still draws me occassionally to learn more about it.  It addressed the question of being a good Jew and being an athiest.  Essentially…it said it was more important to act as a Jew should (following the commandments…), than to necessarily believe in god.  What was interesting, was the point that without god, all of life is subjective, arbitrary, relative.

  
  

  There really is no point to life accept the purpose we create ourselves.  I realize that I’ve come to this realization time and again.  Actually…i’ve realized that I’ve re-realized this time and again.  It’s like I keep re-inventing my own wheel of life. 

  
  

  I was speaking to a friend recently about politics, and realized that while it’s good to learn, it’s pointless if not applied.  What difference does it make that I know certain things about politics, (and what about the fact that what I know isn’t really based on a deep understanding, but mostly ideology, and I might read something tom. to alter my views).  Another friend of mine once commented he doesn’t follow politics, “I affect what I know,” he siad. 

  
  

  If there’s one thing that I KNOW, it’s that much of what there is to know or think about in life hasn’t been shown to me.  For example…I find it interesting how the biographies of most famous people, politicians, activists, journalists, etc., reveal a family life or a community where they were surrounded by “intellecturals,” or had some form of role models for the life they would eventually enter.  I’m constantly reminded that I have never been exposed to the right number of people that would propel me beyond being a finger print on a skyscraper window.

  
  

  Ahhh…my good friend Drew just called me, to get me “out of my head,” and excited about life again.  We just talked for almost an hour about travelling…this Sept. we want to do something for a month.  We started w/ abroad ideas, then driving the States, then hitching the States, then living in a differet city every month for a year, then going to Hawaii…I love travellers and people that love travelling, and I realize that’s another thing I haven’t been surrounded by, except when travelling.  It’s like there’s this other converyerbelt of life going on that I stepped off, and I have so few people around me who are aware of the wonders of that path.

  
  

  Another interesting quote i forget where i heard it recently: “There’s a reason why it’s the path less travelled.”  Made me think for a bit…

  
  

  Also…John Stossel’s book, “Give Me a Break,” has been a refreshing read.  The book reveals his evolution from a corporate watchdog, to a gov’t watchdog, which has resulted in his evolution from a liberal to a libertarian.  Interesting book considering the recent debates, and interesting because you can see how his experiences led him to his political ideology, and he gives a picture of how capitalism is not perfect, however, gov’t efforts to pick up for capitalisms failures are often just as bad.  I think various examples give legitimacy to the libertarian side, while any consideration of the benefits of gov’t were left out.

  
  

  Also…watched Question Time last night, which is a weekly parliamentary debate in England, where Tony Blair responds to rapid questions from the minority party, and from all members of parliament.  His ability to speak clearly, to argue with evidence, as well as the general good nature of the debates and the frequent laughter by all, made me smile at how that country must benefit from having that opportunity to actually have a political discussion amongs politicians.

  
  

  Also watched Howard Dean speak, nominated as the DNC chairman.  Reassuring to see some coverage of all the things that are being written about, finally being addressed by a recognizable political face.

  
  

  Oh year…C-Span is an interesting channel to watch.

  
  

  Saw a 60min special on the gates in NY.  I saw them the other day…thought they were alright, but it was interesting to hear the creators of the project speak.  They said there was no “purpose or meaning,” it was just to make people see the park differently.  mission accomplished, i’d say. 

  • 12:21 am
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