November 9, 2004

• DAY#4
  TOPIC: MOTION CREATES EMOTION

  
  

  I’m leaving in one hour for the Greyhound bus station in St. Louis, heading to San Fran.  I used to have these impulses in college to skip class for a week and head west.  Well…I’m sort of doing that, I’m not heading west just for the sake of it (i’m attending an education conference www.essentialschools.org) but, movement has always been good to me.  In fact, it’s already had a reshaping on my other plans…i was hoping to organize an education forum at Wash U., but, since i’m attending this conference in San Fran., i’m thinking, “you know what, i’ve been dying to visit some friends by Vancouver and Whistler, in British Columbia, Canada.”  So…i just might do that.

  
  

  Today has been an internal battle.  I’m comfortable staying put.  I’m comfortable in front of the tv.  I’m comfortable not having to go anywhere.  I wrote this, this afternoon while packing up everything from my roommates apt. into my backpack:

  
  

  “In order to expand one’s understanding of the world, and to seize opportunities to acquire new knowledge and experiences, and to fulfill personal dreams and goals, one must occassoinally take actions that leave one feeling uncomfortable.  While support from friends, family, (xanga people), etc. can lessen the feelings of discomfort and provide inspiration and support, an individual is often best served by possessing their own internal strengths and qualities to push oneself towards a desired life, unattainable without leaving the shore.”

  
  

  The idea of leaving the shore brought back memories of being both a student and instructor for Outward Bound.  Outward Bound is a nautical term used when a boat leaves the safety of the harbor, to the unknown of the sea, and is used as a metaphor for the wilderness experience of most Outward Bound courses.  At Outward Bound South Africa, we would raise the flag, (which is blue with a white square in the middle) at the beginning of the course, and leave it flying the entire time a crew was on course.  At the end of a course, we lower the flag, symbolizing their safe return…then immediately raise it again.  “Your real Outward Bound course starts today, as you return to your own lives,” we tell our students.

  
  

  So…here I am, day #4, and already I’m met by difficult waters.  I know there are things waiting for me in San Francisco, educators who I need to meet and talk to.  I need to engage the discomforts of leaving behind the stability, (if you can call it that) of relaxing at my friend’s apartment, and staying put.  I need to go where the opportunities are, and I realize that all that stands between me and success and my own willingness to take on discomfort. 

  
  

  The beauty of this entire exercise, is that over time, discomfort becomes comfortable.  I will be on a bus for the next 40 hours, but, that to me has already become comfortable.  So has the unknown, as I am excited to be staying at the Green Tortoise hostel in San Francisco, where I’ve already made one friend, the lady at the front desk who asked, “Is it ok if I call you ‘danimal?’”  Looks like I have a new nickname! 

  
  

  Many people are held back by nothing other than their fears.  Fear of relocating, losing friends, taking a professional risk, taking a personal risk.  But, at the end of the day, we can hold onto shore for as long as we want, only to wonder as we get older, 23, 25, 27, 29, 36, 40, 46, 53, wonder what things we might have experienced out in the open waters.

  
  

  The bus ride – on a more practical note, I’ve prepared myself both a large salad and some leftover lasagna that I made the other night for the bus ride, along with a large drink.  The difference between comfort and discomfort is sometimes a matter of being prepared by taking along with you a few comforts of home.

  
  

  Politics – been browing the NYT opinions, realizing first of all I need to start following more news sources, especially ones w/ “conservative” points of view…one article described how those of us liberals who support being open-minded, have fallen into our own trap, labelling the “red states,” as “ignorant hicks, etc.”  Turns out, we may have fallen for what the polls and stats have told us about evangelical christians giving Bush the vote, when the overall numbers might tell us any number of things.  Another article, however, shows that ignorance is really the problem of our political system, as many Bush voters did in fact vote with false beliefs about weopons of mass destruction and links between al-qaeda an NY (which, again supports my claim, that structural changes in education will have immens ripple effects to improve our country.)

  
  

  on the road…to catch up on reading, thinking,

  
  

  -dan

  • 6:54 pm
  • 2 Comments