October 5, 2004
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So…i’m fighting for a cause here. And I’m confident that I can be responsible for things changing, but I’m also aware of the realities i face. Because of those realities, I must constantly ask myself at what point I pick up a different project, not because I failed, but because I didn’t have the resrouces to succeed. Right now, I’m lacking allies. People who are as passionate as me for the need to improve Wash. u. in St. Louis. However, it is still early in the game. I have only been here for about 3 weeks. And, if I extend the progress I have made in this short time, to what I can expect to see if I stay for a while, than I might expect to see things happen.
So, that’s where I am right now. Frustrated that things aren’t materializing yet, yet more than happy w/ what I have achieved so far, the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had. I am the type of person who is always thinking, what else could I be doing right now. This afternoon, as I enjoyed a Tuesday Guiness, I thought to myself, “I could be in London or Dublin, where everyone does this everyday, and they don’t need to designate a special day for the occassion.”
Why put myself in a place where I need to work so hard to find the things I enjoy? Part of the reason is the challenge, and the fact that I am fighting for a cause. I oftentimes forget where I came from and how I got here. I forget the hours I spent dreaming and writing this book, imagining the impact that it could have.
Well…I’ll have to settle for the occassional highlights, and in reality, when I say settle, I really mean, “I’m fortunate to have the types of rewards that I’m getting as a result of my struggles.” Through chance, as most things go, I sold a book last week to this girl Zoey. Today, she comes into Blue Hill, and tells me she’s read the whole thing, and absolutely loved it. That alone was inspiring. It’s the reaction I’ve always been expecting, but until now, haven’t received. It’s those one-per-day moments that keep me going. What will happen tomorrow, I wonder?
Comments (7)
I know this sounds silly but I missed an answer…did you try the major publishing companies as well yet?
Hi, I’m one of the two study abroad people who showed up for your London Day thing, and I just wanted to say that I read your handout and I like what you’re doing. Life is about more than school, and more people should acknowledge that. My friends and I have definitely been doing a lot more non-academic stuff this year (happy hours, random St. Louis explorations, etc.), and it’s all been fun, but just remember that life is about more than fun. Maybe I’m on the opposite side of the fence, since I want to go into academia and all, but I still think drive and accomplishment are important, as long as there is passion behind them. That’s what London was about for me, the balance between working hard at what I’m passionate about and experiencing great new things with good people. Balance is key. But yeah, I’m still going to tell people about your book. And you should actually maybe be encouraged by the fact that not as many people showed up today; people don’t like going to stuff at scheduled times, they like to spend their free time being free.
It sounds like you are getting through to some people I have just read Britt comment
I have to tell you Guniness in Ireland taste better than anywhere else ( look at the photo of my hubbie 
) Have you ever been over to Europe ?
dan – london day? how can you have a london day without me?!!!? Congrats on everything. Don’t get discouraged. This is the time of your life when you can try and misstep and correct and try again. So go for it.
still working on that article about ya – but i’m so busy with work, i haven’t finished it yet. but i’m thinking of ya!
Thanks for the support…it’s strange how i tend to read comments w/ a certain defense mechanism. I mean, whenever I see the word “but,” i tend to think someone has disagreed w/ me and i missed the point. i think that’s how i read britt’s comment, but, as it turns out, i believe in the same things she wrote. i’m not advocating fun alone for its own sake, but passion, that you do things for the right reasons. anyways…thanks to everyone for giving me some perspective again, things are going well, even if i’m just reaching out to one person a day.
I still need to buy your book. I keep waiting for a week when I have the extra money floating around. It’s one of those things that I’m just going to have to break down and buy whether I have the money or not.
Can you really expect people to flock to your book, though? You’re (bravely) questioning the very lives they are leading, and assuming that they might be as ready as you are to change them. Many of them are deeply invested in their school careers and will have to reach their own points of failure (which they may not reach until several years after school) before they are ready to wake up and do things differently. When they do tire of the rat race, perhaps all you can do is hope to be there to pick up the pieces with them. The good thing about a book is that it has the potential to live a long life, and for people to be able to find it years down the road.
I am expecting people to flock to my book, in the way they flock to many other books. I’m not expecting them to change, or to necessarily take everything I write to heart. Right now my biggest obstacle is to get the word out that this book is worth reading. It’s not a philosophical dilemma, but a marketing dilemma, and it’s not something that I could have learned in a class (maybe a little) but mostly things I’m picking up from people. My networking skills are picking up, and I’m finding new leads that will hopefully lead to people flocking to buy my book.
The school paper is supposed to run an article on me next week. I just got a new lead to organize a forum for freshman. I need to follow up with the career center to organize a forum for graduating seniors. Why do people flock to certain books and not others? I think it has as much to do w/ content, as it does with exposure. I’m sure some writers become well-known because they’re just that good, that someone had to discover them and help them out. Others become well-known because they believe that what they wrote should be well-read, and so they push hard for it. I’m obviously the ladder.
You are right though, that most people here are deeply invested in their school careers. I wonder though, if people need to find failure, or if they just need another experience to make them realize that they would rather live life on different terms.
Thanks for the posts!!!