April 3, 2004

• Saturday, April 03, 2004

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  HI… I’ve been having trouble updating my xanga, which has been kind of a let down, since i’ve had an exciting last few days. Something has stressed me about my entire life, that being I think i’m a shitty writer. I read other sites, and see how other people think, and I think “man, am i a simple-minded writer.” I don’t have any vivid descriptions, documented conversations, fancy words, unique metaphors, you name it. I write, that’s it. I’m an average writer, and that sucks. But…in true Dan style, I must find something out of this venting. Something to keep me going, to not forget my mission of publishing my journal, reforming education, and all the many visions I have. Seeing others puts fear into me, and fear is merely focussing on obstacles, and ignoring visions, and I won’t, I can’t let that happen. Instead, I need to re-affirm what I’m all about. I’m all about doing, and seeing real affects of my thinking, and my writing. I’m not writing a novel, I’m not trying to win any literary awards, or receive high marks from a college professor. I’m writing to figure things out for myself, and in the process to help others as well to figure things out. My writing is the best vehicle I have to get my ideas out, to try to unite myself w/ others with common ideas. My writing keeps my sanity. My writing is the only way to document things like my first hitchhiking experience, riding an ostrich, getting to have dinner in a house for the first time in 3 months by going to temple for the first time in probably 12 months. My writing allows me to share how much i love the backpacking culture, and how cool it is that during breakfast, the owner of the hostle Marius, asked me if i wanted to help him tend bar at the KKNK festival, which I did, at a bar only a stones throw from where the president of S. Africa, Thabo Mbeki, came to kick off the festival. My writing is where I can say how pissed I am that Arsenal blew a great season to Man. U today, 1-0, but still has a chance to win some hardware. My writing is a chance to just ramble, and it doesn’t matter much what I say, because it’s just thoughts out of my head that can change in an instant, but they still have the ability to make me friends and enemies, create opportunities for myself, and to close off others. my writing is a chance for me to give up hope, and to realize that i need to experience the want to give up, in order to be a true modern-day hero. My writing sucks, My writing is bold, My writing is strange, My writing is lonely, My writing is heard, My writing is me, My writing is who? My writing My writing My writing is weak My writing is strong My writing is a poem My writing is lame My writing is brave My writing will one day be in a book My writing will one day be in a book of dust A book in the garbage A book in classrooms A book for dreamers A book for crazies My writing My book -Dan

  • 9:20 am
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