April 10, 2006
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Topic: cookbook philosophy
I had an amazing conversation last night w/ one of my best friend’s from college, I mean, AMAZING. It was the type of conversation that only people our age and in lives very similar to ours would have, and that was the point. We both realized together what we had been realizing alone, the sensation of entering into a new stage of life.
My friend made a comment, “from 0 – 18, you’re always looking up, looking forward. Now, for the first time, we’re able to look back with some objectivity. To see just how 15 we were at 15, how 20 we were at 20, and when we’re older, we’ll look back and see just how 24/25 we are now.”
Our lives have paralleled each others a lot since we both met my junior year, my friend’s sophomore year. He had just transferred from GW and was on my floor. We both had similar breakdowns in college, my friend’s having to do with his love of music, and his decision to make that the focus of his studies.
After college, both my friend and I pursued untraditional interests, myself with outdoor education and writing, my friend moving to Boston to pursue his passion for music. We were both mildly successful, and also fell wildly short of our ultimate aims. We’ve both experienced highs and lows, and at times similar stomach illnesses that we have concluded were brought about from mental stress.
And last night, we both came to similar realizations about our lives, and our minds. We both decided that while it’s healthy to set goals, it’s not necessarily healthy to make those goals the center of all life. My friend said, “I’ve also been wanting to write a book about all my thoughts on life. But I only want to write it if I enjoy it. If it’s stressing me out, then I don’t care if I finish it, because that would defeat the point.” Which struck me particularly hard as I’ve been stressing somewhat about things I want to write.
There’s a cookbook quote we discussed, “Perfection gets in the way of good enough.” I’m not sure what I think about it still, since who wants to settle for good enough? But that is the point; To be more accepting of life. And at that moment, just when I felt like I needed to come up with a better quote, I laughed and said, “I guess that’s good enough.”
I’ve been reflecting also on teaching, as I am considering going into that profession. Despite writing A LOT about “what’s wrong w/ schooling” and “how to make schooling better,” having spoken with several people who are currently teachers, I’ve realized that the reality is that I am just as likely to be a kiddie cop as I am a teacher. And what will I teach? I will teach what I can about this part of the curriculum or this interesting fact or skill, but will likely spend most of my day dealing with kids running around, talking out loud, causing trouble, etc.
Shouldn’t my low expectations of what teaching and school is make me want to take back all my views on education? Maybe some of them. My views on schooling are changing as my situation is. I now see school as such a small part of a person’s life, and so is a teacher. You simply play your role the best you can. You forget about perfection, and aim for good enough.
I’m re-reading Fahrenheit 451, and the issue that this book is getting me to think about is the idea of “normal.” The book describes a world in which books are illegal, where firefighters are paid to burn down houses that contain these illegal books, and where thought and discussion at any level is looked at as mentally ill. I’ve resisted the instinct to say, “Wow…that’s scary how close this resembles the world today,” as it is just a caraciture of life. And still, I’ve resisted the isntinct to say, “What a sad world this is.” Sad because it’s far from perfect? It all seems somewhat relative, how we think of our cultures. In 100 or 200 years, clearly people will look back and criticize the year 2006, but from our present-day situation we’re basically stuck with what we have.
For example, say you’re in a rut in life. Hate your job, can’t find someone you love, bills are piling up. Someone can say that things are going to work out, and they may or may not, and ultimately, you may or may not have control over that. So, the best you can do is say, “right now is the best it is,” even though you know it’s not perfect. You’re left with the cookbook philosophy, I guess it’s just good enough.
But what of activists? What of a better world? What of injustice, of hate, of violence, of human rights? What of community, and family, and leisure, and mental health? What of, “this isn’t perfect, this isn’t even good enough?”
I guess my thoughts on that is that there are two worlds we live in. The WORLD, meaning the modern world we live in. Then there’s our private worlds. Our individual lives, family, and friends. Just like writing a book, one must be content with their individual world if they are to address the world at large. Think about John Kerry, and how it must be to know that he might have shaped the world a bit more in a positive way (key word being “might”), but now he’s a historical footnote. Still, his life can be good enough. Or take someone facing starvation in Africa. With their faith, even their lives can be good enough to them, although the WORLD knows that this is not good enough.
Comments (6)
I like that one a lot! Good enough is good enough for me!
better to light one candle than curse the darkness, dan. i like your thinking. kudos on reading fahreinheit 451. when it all comes to pass, I’ll have a few chapters of Anna Karenina memorized to keep alive around the fire.
For some reason, all I can think of is Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Good Enough‘ video(s) from the 80′s. But that’s because I’m a lowbrow wasteoid with a rotten brain full of useless pop culture.
Good luck with the teaching decision.
good enough is subjective dan. What’s good enough isn’t good enough for someone else. And also keep in mind that there are some activists (and definitely not all, but having lived in Berkeley I can vouch for this as a categorical truth) who are so disappointed in the way things are with the world that they can never truly be happy. NOTHING will ever be satisfactory because once they get one goal met, they find something to be active about. If nothing is ever good enough, is that a life better than accepting good enough?
I think the key is to figure out through experiences what’s worth fighting and what’s meant to be accepted. No one has the answer except the person living through it.
You should be a teacher. You don’t have to be an ineffective teacher. I still remember most of my teachers from my life and I can honestly say there were some who intensely affected my character as a human being in a positive way and they were “just” an art teacher or “just” a science teacher.
dara, i’m never sure where the right place is to repond, but regarding your comment, on your site, or on mine, but anyways:
I think you proved my point when you were discussing these activists, for whom life is never good enough. In their process of making the world better, they’re making their lives miserable. In their quest to knock goals off their lists, they’re never satisfied. They’re neglecting their personal world, in an effort to save the bigger world. This is all pretty philosophical, but i think it’s also psychological. You write, “If nothing is ever good enough, is that a life better than accepting good enough,” My answer, ABSOLUTELY NOT. That’s can easily become a suicidal thought process, and then when you’re depressed or about to lose it, you’re of no use to whatever cause or goal you’re going after.
In order to care for others, everything must be all right in your own life. Everything must be good enough in your world, although you recognize that everything is not good enough in the lives of others. You must make peace w/ yourself, and accept that you can push you limits, but that you do have limits.
The world is too complicated and BIG for it to ever be perfect. 30% of highschool students drop out across the US, 30% of Syrian women are victims of abuse, x % of people are obese, 40% of college students have experienced depression, x% of people die of malaria in Africa, x% of people in America die of heart attacks. There are pleanty of things to care about, and we can improve things, and fight for causes, and leave lasting impacts on children so that they may make the world a better place.
But my philosophy for my mental sanity, is that today is good enough.
You have to pick your battles. You’re probably not going to save the world but you can improve a few people’s lives and provide them with opportunities you wouldn’t have had otherwise, and that’s good enough for me. Because at the end of the day it’s not about me but about helping other people.
Which I can only do if I’m satisfied with what I’m doing and taking care of myself. You definitely have a point there.
~Bethany