November 28, 2005

• Topic: Many different people…

  
  

  So…I got to work a bit early this morning, so I have a few minutes to blog and then grind out the filing, phone answering, e-mail responding, and mailing that is my job

  
  

  Been reading James Frey’s book A Million Little Pieces, and the main character, James, is in drug and alcohol rehab.  His siblings visit him and give him a few books, one of which is the Tao Te Ching.  I have a copy and began flipping through it again.  I’ve always been attracted to its writings, mostly because I’ve always been attracted to the esoteric and exotic, but also because of its practical and honest assessment of life.

  
  

  

  
  

  I think Taoism serves 3 purposes.  First, it serves to explain the unanswerable questions, namely, what created the world, and what sustains life.  Second, it serves to explain what the purpose of life is given the fact that life comes with no instruction booklet and can therefore seem quite random, confusing, scary, and stressful.  The third purpose I believe Taosim serves, is to be used as a practical guide for how to live, or rather, how to live a life free of the pains and sufferings that are natual products from the first two issues Taoism seeks to address, the confusion about how we got here, and what we’re supposed to do with the time that we have.

  
  

  The one piece of Taosim that I’ve always been attracted to is the issue of eliminating desires in order to eliminate pain and suffering, since much of the pain we experience in life comes from our attachments to things, and our desires for things.  But…what I’d like to do for a moment is qualify those “things” that we are attached to and that we desire.

  
  

  For example, for Taoism to make any sense, we must desire at least one thing, and that thing is to desire the elimination of pain and suffering, or to desire the elimination of desire.  This may sound abstract, but I say this in order to highlight that there are certain “good things” or “things which are worhty” or being desired and being attached to.

  
  

  One thing, is family and close friends.  Alfred Loyd Tennyson (i had to look that up) once said, ”’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”  In other words, we should desire love, even though we recognize that with that desire, will one day come great pain.  However, the pain is worth what came from loving.

  
  

  

  
  

  Another thing I believe is worthy of being pursued, are accomplishments.  At the end of life, all we have to look back on are our accomplishments and our memories, and that’s what we then leave behind. 

  
  

  The value in Taoism I believe comes from the issue of desire and attachment for tangible or material things.  This is not to say one should strive for poverty, rather, the angle I take from this is to support the idea of simple living.  I do not oppose earning great wealth, either for others or myself, but what Taoist philosophy and the philosohpy of Danielism (the religion I created in 6th or 7th grade) says, is to not allow the pursuit of material possessions, or more importantly extravagant material possessions, to take away from the desire to fill a life with both love and accomplishments. (although the accomplishment is acquiring extravagant possessions, in which case, my philosophy is not fool-proof, but I believe serves as a good general guideline).

  
  

  Moving on…

  
  

  Yesturday was a dramatic day for Giants fans everywhere.  A big game, on the road, against the NFC leading Seattle Seahawks.  Down by 8 with 4min. to go, our quarterback leads us down the field for a score, and the 2-pt. conversion knots everything up.  With under 2min. to go, our d-fense holds, and our offense gives us a chance to win the game.

  
  

  That’s when our field goal kickerk, Jay Feely, missed the first of three attempts to win the game.  He had two more opportunitites in overtime, both kicks fell short.  Anguish.  But…as the NYT reminds us, the man is human, and he has lost bigger things than football games.  His wife’s sister died of a brain aneurism at age 18, and the couple lost a daughter to a miscarriage a year ago.  It was a good game though, an entertaining game involving my friend Dave and I shouting, cheering, high-5ing, cursing, closing our eyes, sulking, and finally remarking, “We need to stop watching Giants games together, because every time we watch them they find a new way to lose.”

  
  

  

  
  

  I’ve been making efforts to make contact with old college friends and roommates.  It helps to makes the past not seem so distant, and it also helps to put some perspective on things, and it’s just good to hear from friends.

  
  

  I have one roommate who just got engaged and bought a house in St. Louis, although this we all saw coming and things are considerably more affordable in the midwest than other parts of the country.  Another friend is 24 and in his second year of his undergraduate education, who is both my sports friend and good for talking about business and economics (he workd for Merrill Lynch for 4 years after hs), and also has a propensity for younger college aged girls.  Another friend is still in St. Louis, probably the smartest friend I remember having in college, although he never graduated and now works at a bar near the campus.  I have a friend who should be coming down from Boston who works 20hrs. a week at Wholefoods and spends the rest of his time training in music, another friend in Baltimore who already owns a condo and is trying to get capital to start up a big-time currency trading operation.  I have friends in DC trying to “save the world” or at least a few people, working for the ACLU, and various other int’l development organizations, friends living at home (like myself), others still travelling about and living on couches.  I used to wrestle with a team consisting of a handful of people from the Dominican Republic, and I ran into two of them this weekend at Dave and Buster’s (an adult arcade, meaning an arcade w/ a bar), one is on break from the army, the other is an EMT.  I learned that another runs a couple of bodegas in my hometown.  At 23, James Frey, from the book I’m reading, was in rehab and on the verge of death from his drug addiction.  I have friends in law school who will go onto practice law, and I know people who went to law school, like my dad, who never practiced.  I have friends who are paying off loans from college, and friends who inherited money for a home, car, or a jumpstart on their own retirement.  Friends who make 6-figures, and others getting by on a waiter/bar tender’s salary.  I know people who are news-junkies, and have strong opinions about history and politics, and I know people who couldn’t find Iraq on a map if it was a map of Iraq!  I know people who smoke pot daily, and people who have never been drunk. 

  
  

  So…what do I want from life.  Not much really.  I want to retire around 55-60 so I can either spend time with my family, or travel the world.  I want to enjoy the outdoors when it’s warm, and read a book and watch movies when it’s cold.  I want to cook more, and enjoy good restaurants.  I want to get drunk on New Year’s, and enjoy a good beer or wine on the weekends.  I want to think a lot and write a lot and be active, and I also want to be still, to turn my mind off, to daydream or just let time pass me by.  I want to enjoy my comforts, and I want to explore what I do not know.  I want to own a home, and car, and other material things, but I don’t want to stress about money.  I want to accomplish many things, but I don’t want to be proud.  I want to feel confidant, but I want to be cautious.  This is the way, this is the tao, this is the life that is, and is not. Ok…you can laugh now, that last line was complete bullshit!

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 10:39 am
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