November 25, 2005

• Topic: The importance of family, and other life musings

  
  

  Without getting to wishy washy or sentimental, I want to write for a min. about what I see as the real and pracitcal importance of family.  Because, family for family’s sake is not my type of explanation.  I’ve always been a why person, and after 24 years, I finally have some answers for myself.

  
  

  First of all, family to me is important because it represents memory.  In the last week, I’ve gained a whole new sense of what I belong to.  I always knew I was 1 of 10 grandchildren, but now I’ve started to comprehend what it means to be 1 of I think 40 great-grandchildren.  Both of my grandparents are first-generation Americans.  From two sets of great-grandparents, such a huge family has grown.

  
  

  And it’s important for me to feel connected to that history of how this family has come to be.  I’m only just now starting to discover that I did have some family (although they seem unrelated to me), but my great-grandparents did have siblings who never made it out of Europe during WWII.  Not that I suddenly am gonna start running around feeling like a super-Jew or crying about the Holocuast, but it gives me a fuller picture of my family and makes history seem a bit more relevant.

  
  

  My grandmother was a teacher, and one of her friends from her school, PS91 in Brooklyn, came over to my uncle’s today.  She made a great comment about family, “If you’re ever thristy, you know your family will give you a drink.  Strangers will walk right on by you.”  It’s taken me a while to truly warm to the importance of family, but now I see how it’s both possible to lean on family in times of sadness, as well as to share positive things with (like Giant tickets!) 

  
  

  I’ve also started to see family relationships in different ways.  My uncles I’m starting to see as a group of 3 brothers, who were all brothers to my mom, and sons of my grandmother.  They’re also fathers to my cousins.  And as I’ve grown to become closer to them, I see them more as friends, who happen to be family.  Same thing with my cousins…I have 3 younger cousins, 17, 15, and 12, so it now feels almost like have 3 younger siblings in a way, plus someone to throw a football around w/ and watch sports with…things I don’t have at home w/ 2 older sisters.

  
  

  A friend of one of my uncles also stopped by, and he and my uncle were chatting a bit about the whole experience.  My uncle, the middle of 5 children, was still expressing disbelief about the whole thing, and his friend responded, “We’re all here for a limited amount of time.  As we age, we all start moving to the front of the line.  Soon, all of our parents will be gone, and our generation will be at the front.  But remember, some people never make it to the front of the line, they die young.  So while death looms for all of us, we shouldn’t fear aging.  We should instead live our lives with a sense of urgency, every day and every year.” 

  
  

  I think I elaborated that a bit to sound a bit more like a chapter in Tuesday’s With Morrie.

  
  

  For me, this whole experience of losing my grandmother and spending time with family has helped in my continuing efforts to focus my priorities.  It’s made me less anxious about money, career, and accomplishments, because i see now how those things quickly wash away.  The important things are clearly relationships with family, friends, and community, as well as enjoying both your work and your leisure time, and leaving behind some form of legacy, whether it be through your work, your family, or even your blogs

  
  

  Well…enough of the rambling, hope you all ate like kings this weekend, and be well.

  
  

   

  • 4:26 pm
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