August 2, 2005
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Tuesday: the day after Monday
After work, came home, inhaled some food, drove to Jones Beach. I am officially a loser w/ no friends who goes to the beach alone. I fell asleep in the sand, and was awoken around 9:30pm by police lights. Apparenlty, the sand is closed after the sun goes down. The fuckin’ sand!!! Yet one more example to toss on the already high pile of shit that is my current life. At one point in time, I got paid to sleep on the beach, and to supervise other people sleeping on a beach.
I probably could have gone back after the cops drove away. This hispanic couple was also pretty upset, they decided to resume their cozy spot on the lifeguard chair. As for me, w/ my luck, I’d have gotten a ticket, or gotten arrested. And last week, I was out w/ some friends in Bryant Park in NYC, and my friend brings out a 6-pack in a bag. We’re enjoying the Fri. afternoon buzz, but constantly on edge for the worthless park patrol.
My sister, who is single, ran into a friend of hers who said she had the perfect guy for her. Turned out it was a family friend of ours. He’s tall, atheltic, and doing very well for himself as a dentist. Suddenly, I was envious. I wish I was a successful dentist! I want to be doing well for myself. I want to make my parents proud, and their friends proud…
…but, I don’t think I was quite built like that. I went to college as a business major, and somehow that ambiton to become rich and successful managing money fell through. I thought about becoming a lawyer, but somehow that ambition to become rich and successful arguing cases fell through. All my beliefs about adulthood are stuck w/ me from when I was a child, even the belief that I’ll become an academically minded person.
But in reality…all I crave is natural beauty, physical activity (settling for working out in a gym doesn’t cut it), a communal setting w/ interesting people of all different backgrounds,
Comments (2)
Sounds like the perfect life for me too.
That whole second to last paragraph exactly describes my experience with higher education. I know exactly what you mean about becoming academically minded. Stupid academics and their quarterly tomes of barely relevant analysis. I would have been like them if I could, but it never worked out, and I’m back to writing songs and climbing Half Dome.