June 17, 2005

• Currently eating:

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

  more pointilism…notice how George W. Bush’s face is created out of dead soldiers.  Pretty neat, huh?

  
  

  

  
  

  and Nipple Jesus, a story by Nick Hornby, also touches on this topic.  It’s about a security guard who’s asked to guard a picutre of Jesus made out of porno nipples. 

  
  

  Sometimes I look at characters in fictional things, and wonder if there are really people like that out there.  Like…you see a clutzy kind of character, and a part of you wants to identify w/ them, and then you worry, “what if the writers just made them up completely, and you’re really the clutz, but actually you’re a clutz x 2 for identifying w/ that fictional clutz.”

  
  

  Sometimes…when I feel like shit, or completely out of place in this world, I read something and suddenly feel like I’m the normal one.  But…when I put the book down, it’s just back to where I started.  Let’s face it…nobody really wants to feel shitty, but feeling that way has a romantic appeal when you can identify with a fictional character.  “See…here’s why I’m miserable, it’s the way I’m supposed to feel.”

  
  

  I hate waking up in the morning because the snap out of dream state hurts.

  
  

  I’m not saying i’m miserable at all.  This post is more to write about the human condition.  I figure there’s only certain topics you can post about.  Either you’re writing about things, or you’re writing about the human condition.  And there’s never a shortage of content or a need to be an expert to write about the latter.

  
  

  I think dreaming is one of the most pleasurable things we have.  I can look back at photos and know I was no happier in the past than I am now, but the dreaming is most pleasurable.

  
  

  How pleasurable is it to watch the travel channel!  But can anticipation, even if never realized, be fulfilling?  I think to some extent it can.

  
  

  I’m starting to think that people who start to think things are full of shit

  
  

  but…full as shit as i am…i’m starting to think that it’s ok to postpone pleasure till the unknown future.  I could live abroad, volunteer, and do all kinds of crazy shit till i’m 30, but enjoying my 20s that way could easily compromise my 30s.  and since the pleasure of the 20s would soon become the past, and my 30s would be spent thinking about life in my 40s, wouldn’t it be best to spend life working in anticipation of distant pleasures?

  
  

  You know all those stories of people leaving the rat race to do something they love.  I’m beginning to think (there’s that wonderful expression again), that the reason they do that is because they’ve made themselves rather rich first.  They possibly postponed doing something they loved to do.  So…to simply avoid the rat race because of the belief that in just a few years time you’re going to want to jump out of the rat race, maybe isn’t so smart.  It’s not smart because the rat race gives you financial independance, and that’s what it’s all about.

  
  

   

  • 10:03 pm
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