May 26, 2005
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Topic: Waking Life
Well…a tangible effect has been had due to xanga. Courtney, my xanga friend, recommended I watch this movie Waking Life, which I did, so I thank my internet “pen pal” for that (is there a better expression for internet / blogging friends?).
Anyways…this is quite a heavy movie, but I think I managed to take a few of my own things from it. The movie is done in a very unique animation, which at times appears as if it’s video w/ special effects added to it to make it look animated. And everything is always moving and somewhat blurry, which is both distracting and interesting at the same time.
The main character is a college aged guy, who spends the majority of the movie listening to all sorts of characters ponder life. The specific topics vary greatly, there’s a college professor discussing existentialism and whether it necessarily leads to sadness or if it can lead to perpetual bliss, two 30-something women discussing how when they were younger they thought life plateued at 30 but in reality you continue to ponder about life and change as you did in your 20s (I liked that one), a loner who feels that the world is pure alienation and so he sets himself on fire, a woman who abrubtly stops the character in the street and says, “i don’t want to be an ant, just wandering by other ants, where communication has become the sole purpose of doing business,” it goes on and on.
Overall…i dug the movie. I dug that it stimulated me, and the fact that if tv and movies were always this stimulating, I might feel a lot more stimulated in life. I dug that there were so many characters, all so different, all contemplating life, all right in their own ways, but completely unaware of how others were contemplating life as well and in a different way. That made me feel less alone in this world, reminding me that even if it takes a movie, to know that it’s human to wonder about life.
I am going through such an interesting stretch of life right now, that I really wish to somehow describe it. There’s another scene in the movie about words, how one person thinks about love, says the word, and after it goes through the various scientific processes before it reaches the mind of another person, there is ultimately no way of knowing if the idea translated correctly. This was something my friend actually described to me the other day about the writing process.
But…I’d like to try to think about and describe my life right now, because while it feels almost terminal, while it feels like a crisis, while it feels like I can’t control anything in life, ultimately…THIS IS LIFE. I sort of feel like the next chapter is ready to suddenly be brought upon me, the job, the wife, the kids…all I see are deadlines, and I know that’s all wrong, so you don’t have to tell me.
Considering how much life there is to experience, it feels shocking that I could sleep till noon, that I could be on the computer job hunting till 5, that i could drive to the library in my sweatpants, that i could watch a couple of movies, and that’s my day. But…that’s what I experienced. I also watched Rat Race, a decent slapstick comedy with a solid cast. I cooked a matza bry.
I e-mailed alum from my college who worked at Random House and w/in minutes they e-mailed me back, which was interesting. I called one and assumed he was in his 40′s, but he was 24, and the marketing director of Knopf, a distributor of “fine literature.” The guy was incredibly friendly and informative, and made me realize how far from that real-world I’ve grown. I’m like the guy in the movie, passively taking in life.
The harsh reality I’ve been dealing with this past week is really about my past. I wish I could recall more of my life in depth. I’ve lived as much as people my age, and in many ways I have really lived, but I find life shows itself in one’s personality and ability to express themselves. For example…I may have gone to the beach and just sat with the sun hitting me, but then a friend will enthusiastically share a story of a drunkin’ party he went to, and I’ll feel a sense of emptiness.
And I’m trying to change that by sharing more of my experiences. Conversations, thoughts, and little things. The past is only as alive as you make it, and I’m realizing how little I know even of myself because I’ve let so much of it pass away.
Another thing I took from the movie “Waking Life,” is how fragile life is. While nearly all humans are born with the same mental capacities, we are so greatly influenced by our environment. One scene shows a man in jail fuming about life, the same way a free man was. Imagine being confined to jail, and knowing that you and your mind were to be held prisoner there. In some ways we’re all prisoners of our environments, although most people wouldn’t see it that way. I feel prisoner to my mind sometimes, and worry a bit because life is fragile. And…I want to make sure I make decisions now that might create a better future for myself.
I think back to the incredible potential I had as a high school senior, to go to virtually any college and study virtually anything. And I hope that in several years time I look back to now and realize I’ve turned some kind of corner and truly never looked back.
Comments (2)
wow, this post was a lot more upbeat and opptimistic than previous ones. I get the sense now that your starting to figure urself out a little more each day.
i was recommended waking life by a few friends. I may have to check it out.
anyways, glad things are looking up a bit. remember that there are 50 yr olds who still dont know what they want in life. you dont need all the answers.
I can’t tell you how glad I am that you enjoyed the movie. There have been multiple ideas presented in it that come up in my everyday life. Different situations have taken me instantly back to a scene in that movie. I have a post from my early xanga completely dedicated to the movie. The amazing thing is, every time I watch it, I get something more from it.
Like the scene with the burning man: This signified the first media recorded act of violence. It was a monk that was burning himself in protest to the American efforts during Vietnam. When he set himself on fire, a crowd gathered around him, and no one tried to help. Photographers were taking pictures beside him, one of them going on to win the Pulitzer Prize. The dialect of the man in the scene reflects this idea of people standing idly by and being drawn to the suffering of other people.
One of the interesting things about this movie, is that it never really had much of a script, which fascinates me. The cast was a collection of professors, activists, actors, political figures, artists, etc. They had sort of been given an idea of what to talk about, and then they proceeded to just film. I can’t imagine being surrounded by a group of people with such different ideas about life, and such knowledge and creativity. Although I do have a sneaking suspicion that I already am…
The DVD version has recommended reading somewhere in the features, and you can watch it with commentary as well. It gave me tremendous insight as to what some of the scenes were supposed to signify. But all in all, I think that you can take from it what you will. Tremendous movie. I am glad that you enjoyed it.