May 19, 2004
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It’s just one man, holding a bunch of words he wrote.
Soon, I will be holding a book, with my name on the front.
Topic: pure fucki’ venting, nothing but venting, comment if you want, but this blog is for me.
I’m writnig a fuckin’ book. I’ve got all these ideas that are good, but they’re stuck in my head. And i love writer, so i’m doing my best to craft those ideas into words on the page. but i have to keep considering what i want from this book.
and i have to play w/ microsoft word to make it look like a book, because i don’t have an editor to do that for me. and i have to make sure the company i’m using to do print-on-demand books is ok, because i don’t have the time to search every friggi’ company. and i need to keep brainstorming a marketing plan, and a travel plan. and i need to figure out what to do if the book goes well and if it doesn’t.
I’m doing the work of 5 people, and in a few months time, i’ll look back and smile. because this is what i have to do. one day, i’ll be a writer and will have others to take care of some of the load, but right now, this is what i have to do to make it. and that’s fuckin’ hilarious, being the 22 year old scrub who’s giving it all to make it big. and this is what anyone who wants to make a difference has to go through. i don’t know where else to turn, i need to find people with similar interests as me, because i’m gonna burn myself out, and waste a lot of energy. i’ve got some great fuckin’ ideas, and why o why is it so damn hard to get the ball rolling.
this is what the real world does, if i was in college, i could find support all over the place, in one year’s time, i’m gonna get myself into a position where when i speak, there’s a list of people who are listening and ready to do something. i can’t fuckin’ blog, only dara reads this anyway, hi dara,
i need to get connected w/ people w/ power to do things, someone who will recognize my energy, and my creativity.
and i just spent the past hour going through photos of people from college online, and fuck, i could really use some emotional support from them. but i need to dig deep, and find my own support, my own motivation. one last push to the summit, this book will be done soon, things will be great soon, just now i must focus.
